


With your hand in mine

by whennapsarelife



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Bo is hella scared, Dental Procedures, Dental Student!Akaashi, Dental Student!Kuroo, Dentist AU, Dontophobia, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kuroo is just Kuroo, M/M, No beta we die like illiterates, Programmer!Kenma, Rated teen for language, akaashi is a gem, chef!bokuto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29659074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whennapsarelife/pseuds/whennapsarelife
Summary: The waiting area of the university’s dental hospital wasn’t busy, for which Bokuto was eternally grateful. No need for a bunch of strangers to witness him breaking down in front of his dentist boyfriend. He didn’t have the energy to lift his eyes from where they were glued to his shoes to look around the room. The smell alone was doing enough to make his throat feel like it was closing up.He couldn’t tell how long they just sat there until Kenma nudged him with his foot. Lifting his gaze for the first time since their arrival, Bokuto watched as Akaashi and Kuroo strolled towards them, both dressed in navy scrubs. A part of his brain vaguely registered that, had he not been scared shitless, he would have probably been incredibly turned on.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 32
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! I wrote this fic simply because I couldn't find one anywhere else with this AU and I just loved the idea of it so much. I'm not a dentist, duh, I just have my best friend Google and my own experiences to go off of. Hope you enjoy! I can't promise I'll be able to update every week put I'll do my best to put out chapters fairly regularly. Also please see tags for TW's, should you be sensitive to any of them.  
> Kudos/comments are always appreciated. P xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the fic, it's good to have you! I've actually been working on this for a little while now. Had this whole fantasy of me publishing the story when it was all finished and perfect. But I've edited and proof-read this chapter literally sooo many times now that I thought fuck it, let's just post it before I can change my mind. I already have a couple more chapters and ideas lined up so can't wait to post those as well. Enjoy!

It was the sound of the coffee machine that roused Bokuto from his slumber. The quiet humming and rutting so familiar and almost comforting to his fuzzy ears. He would take being woken like this over the annoying beeping and screeching of his alarm any day of the week. If only it wasn’t so goddamn early.

The room was still in complete darkness, save for the bit of light that crept in from underneath the door, letting him know it was morning. Rubbing his eyes, Bokuto rolled over. When he squinted over his shoulder in the dark, he expected to see a familiar, Akaashi-sized lump next to him on the bed. But nothing. Huh.

That had to be Akaashi making coffee then, he concluded. In their home, there was one rule and one rule only: Whoever was up first was on coffee duty. No exceptions. None of them had a track record for functioning well without caffeine – if the bickering on days when their machine had been broken were anything to go by. Most of the time, the poor souls forced to fulfil this duty were either Akaashi or their best friend Kuroo. The two were unfortunate enough to be enrolled at university, which meant they had to get to their lectures and labs at the most ungodly hours. Nothing to be jealous of.

Bokuto dropped back on his pillow with a yawn, ravishing in the cosy daze that came with waking up before your alarm. For a while, he just listened to the soft noises coming from their kitchen with his eyes closed. To the clinking of pottery and the smooth rumble of heavy drawers opening and shutting. He had really hoped for a couple more hours of sleep after coming back late from work. Working shifts at a busy restaurant sure took it out of you sometimes.

Oh well. 

He was awake now. No going back to sleep anyway, even if he wanted to. Might as well get up and join Akaashi for a cup. Perhaps he could even sneak in another couple hours of shut-eye before heading back to work for prepping service.

Quietly, Bokuto padded to down the corridor on bare feet. The kitchen was bathed in what could only be described as the most beautiful orange hue. The sun had only just set, casting its first warm rays through the large window. Akaashi was sitting at their dining table, legs drawn up, hands balancing a steaming cup on his knees. Bokuto was no Picasso, but he was convinced that the scene in front of him could have easily inspired one of those fancy paintings he remembered from when Akaashi had dragged him to the national art gallery. 

He was only able to see half of Akaashi’s face from where he stood in the doorway, as the younger man’s gaze was directed towards the only source of light in the room. 

But Bokuto would happily take half of Akaashi’s face over anything else in the world. Anyone who didn’t know the guy would probably mistake the half-lidded gaze and almost straight line of his lips as a sign of impassiveness or indifference. But not him. Bokuto knew this face better than anyone. Even from a distance, he could make out the fraction of a curl playing around Akaashi’s lips and the relaxed look around his eyes that clearly indicated a mixture of peacefulness and contentment.

He had no idea why the resemblance suddenly popped into his head, but in that moment Akaashi reminded him of the black cat he sometimes saw straying around their neighbourhood. Occasionally on a sunny day, before he left the house for his next shift, Bokuto would see it perched up on a warm spot on the side of the path. Posing majestically, paws out neatly in front, hues of amber glinting in the thick fur. Akaashi, without a doubt, possessed some strain of that same nature.

For a moment, Bokuto just stood there in the doorway in complete awe, drinking up the sight in front of him in all its glory, not wanting to waste a single second of it. But eventually, he let himself be pulled gently back to reality.

“Hey, hey, hey” he whispered seductively, as he leaned down towards Akaashi’s ear.

The younger man stiffened, clearly not expecting anyone to sneak up on him like that. Bokuto gave a low chuckle, nipping softly at the shell of his boyfriend’s ear.

“Morning.” Akaashi mumbled into his cup, a soft flush of embarrassment making its way across his cheeks.

How utterly adorable.

“You got one of those for me?” Bokuto whispered, bringing a hand to rub along Akaashi’s shoulder.

“There’s some left in the machine. Leave some for Tetsu though, he should be up soon.”

“Aww, don’t let him fool you with his childishness Kaashi.” Bokuto wagged a finger in his face as he rounded the table. “He’s a grown man. I’m sure he can make his own coffee.”

Akaashi only gave a slight eyeroll and went back to nursing his coffee. It was the only reaction he could muster at this hour of the day when faced with Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s shenanigans. And it would take at least another cup before he would trust himself not to snap at either of them when they threatened to disturb his early morning routine.

“So” Bokuto sat down opposite of Akaashi with a mug of his own, “what’s the plan for today?”

“It’s Friday so we’re doing clinics. I have a few biannual check-ups and some fillings scheduled for the day.”

Bokuto, who was just taking his first sip, choked and spluttered droplets of coffee onto the polished surface. He forced the hot liquid down his throat, no doubt scorching his oesophagus in the process. Akaashi just raised an eyebrow at him but otherwise remained quiet.

“Fuck. Hot.” Bokuto rasped out after he was done coughing. He tried to force a smile but was sure it probably looked more like a grimace. “But hey, that’s great, Keiji!” 

If ever there had been a poorer attempt at faked enthusiasm… 

Bokuto had never been a great liar or actor in his life. Whenever they had allocated roles for the school play in his primary school, he always ended up as a tree or some sort of animal. Anything without text basically. Ever so enthusiastic to partake but always pushed off to the side for his lack of talent.

Akaashi fixated him over the rim of his mug.

“Oh really?” He said, eyes narrowing, “If you think it’s so great, how come you have not once come in for a check-up?”

Bokuto’s eyes widened and his grip instantly tightened on the mug. Praying Akaashi hadn’t caught up on his slip-up, he quickly shrugged his tense shoulders and leaned back in his chair with an exaggerated yawn. Smooth. 

“Ah well – you know…” he scratched the back of his head, “I don’t know. I mean…you know how busy I am with the restaurant and all. The other day they said if I work hard and do well, I could make Sous Chef in a couple years. Wouldn’t that be great, babe? I could work under some of the greatest chefs in all of Tokyo. There’s so much to learn still. I want to know all the different things they do and their philosophies and techniques and just EVERYTHING! Maybe one day I could even have a restaurant of my own! That would be so cool, right Kaashi? Wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it?”

“That would be nice, Kou.” Akaashi smiled softly at his building enthusiasm, dropping the topic with a shrug.

Phew. Crisis averted.

“Anyway, I need to go soon. See you tonight?” Akaashi put his mug in the sink and leaned down to place a soft kiss on Bokuto’s lips. 

“I might be pretty late” Bokuto said with an apologetic smile, “so don’t bother waiting for me. I’ll try to be quiet if you’re already asleep.”

Akaashi just gave a nod and grazed the nape of Bokuto’s neck before exiting the kitchen to gather his things and finish the rest of his morning routine. Which left Bokuto sitting at the table by himself to look at where he had disappeared in the doorway, an uneasy feeling spreading in the pit of his stomach.

Finally, he heard the soft click of Akaashi pulling the apartment door shut behind him. With a sigh, Bokuto leaned his head back, gazing up at the ceiling. 

Akaashi’s requests for him to come in to get a check-up at the university clinic had grown more and more frequent over the last months. At the beginning of his studies, Akaashi had tentatively asked to practice on him maybe once every other month. It had been easy to fend him off then, seeing how they were both busy with school. By now however, the subject had somehow woven itself into their conversations on an almost weekly basis. 

Bokuto wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to divert Akaashi’ attention and escape his constant prodding without revealing how he truly felt about his occupation.

The truth was, Bokuto hated dentists with a passion. If you asked him, there was nothing worse than people who loved screwing around in other people’s mouths for fun. Nothing came even close to how much he despised the feeling of cold metal against his enamel and the screeching of the various torture instruments. Of laying utterly exposed beneath the harsh fluorescent light without even an ounce of control. 

Not hights, not spiders, not flying. Nothing.

If there was some godly creator in this world, Bokuto was absolutely certain that she held a personal grudge against him. Because not long after he had enrolled at culinary school in Tokyo, Akaashi had announced that he wanted to become a dentist when he would gradate the following year. And as if _that_ wasn’t enough for Bokuto’s poor little soul to handle, his best friend Kuroo had gone to pursue a degree in the same profession that same year! 

Bokuto had a hard time believing the audacity. And the irony. Very funny. Ha. Ha.

He had cursed his fate pretty much every day since then, wondering what on earth he had done to deserve such bad karma. Maybe, if he had helped carry the shopping for that old lady who lived next door. Maybe, if he had volunteered to work at the local animal shelter, like some of his classmates. 

A couple of months ago, Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo and Kuroo’s boyfriend Kenma had decided to move into the same apartment together. It was complete coincidence as well as a misfortune that Akaashi’s aunt, who had passed away very suddenly, used to live in a large enough apartment within a reasonably priced area on the outskirts of Tokyo, only fifteen minutes by train to the university campus. 

At the time, there was no way for Akaashi and Bokuto to pay for the rent on their own. Bokuto had only just started his job as a line chef at a fine dining restaurant in town and Akaashi had still had three year of dental school ahead of him.

So, they had asked Kuroo and Kenma to join them. The apartment was spacious, with three bedrooms and a shared kitchen and living area.

Bokuto’s job at the restaurant paid well enough to cover their half, although Akaashi insisted on chipping in what he could or getting takeaway meals for the four of them on weekends. 

As for the other two, it was mostly Kenma who held up their end of the bargain. In his last year of high school, Kenma had developed an app that was later bought by one of the biggest tech firms in Tokyo, earning him a comfortable little financial cushion to fall back on – to say the least. At the moment, the genius was working from home, writing code for a video game that was meant to drop the following year.

Meanwhile, Kuroo had begun his last year of dental school, with Akaashi in the year below him. Bokuto never had the pleasure of experiencing their talents in person, but Kenma and some of their other friends insisted that both Akaashi and Kuroo were both cut out to become exceptional dentists, literally ‘perfect’ for the job. 

Well, as perfect as one could be for drilling holes into people’s skulls and ripping their molars out, Bokuto thought.

Kuroo was a huge nerd behind his goofy exterior. He had always been into sciences growing up and somehow never had to worry about getting the grades for a competitive medical degree, even while prepping for and going to nationals in his final year. He was also extraordinarily good at reading people. Maybe a bit too good at that, Bokuto often thought. It seemed he had been able to use that to his advantage when dealing with patients, as Akaashi had told him once how Kuroo could get even the most stubborn and scared little children to sit completely still while he went ahead and worked on their teeth.

Akaashi, on the other hand, had already been an exceptionally disciplined and hard-working student when they were still in high school. It was a character trait that would continue to carry him through the worst of dental school, where he stoically endured the long hours spent at the library or the labs, without a single complaint coming over his lips. Perhaps Bokuto was a little biased towards his boyfriend but for him, Akaashi just had a way of walking into a room and filling it with complete calm and reassurance, his exterior hardly ever giving an inkling of any conflicting emotions, doubts, or fears.

Only a handful of times during their friendship and – later – romance had Bokuto ever seen him lose his cool. Otherwise, Akaashi’s aura was always silent and steady – a complete contrast to Bokuto’s fiery and explosive nature.

Maybe that’s why they worked so well, Bokuto thought. Their differences made them fit like two pieces of a puzzle. Yin and yang.

***

The rest of Bokuto’s day came and went without a hitch, seemingly in the blink of any eye. Exhausted from another long shift at the restaurant, Bokuto fumbled for his keys and dragged himself through the front door. He tried to be as quiet as possible, hanging up his jacket and shuffling down the corridor.

As he passed the guest room, he could see the faintest bit of blue light coming from underneath the door.

Kenma.

Not the least bit surprised, Bokuto hauled himself the last couple steps towards his and Akaashi’s bedroom. 

It wasn’t uncommon for Kenma to work at night. After that one time Kuroo had thrown a fit – something about him not being able to get his eight hours of beauty sleep – they had moved Kenma’s computer to the guest bedroom, where he could work for as long as he wanted without any disturbances. That was, if Kuroo didn’t barge in in the middle of the night to drag him to bed himself.

Pushing their bedroom door open, Bokuto could barely make out the shape of his boyfriend in the dark, huddled underneath the blanket. Tiptoeing over to the bed, he shed all of his clothes down his boxers and climbed in next to Akaashi, wrapping an arm around him and breathing in the familiar scent.

***

Saturday mornings were for sleeping in, followed by a big brunch. It was a tradition they had founded when they first moved in together. Although it had taken Bokuto a fair bit of coaxing to get things going and to get the others to equivalent levels of enthusiasm. “It’s not just because we’re gay, I swear!”

Ever the future sous chef, he had dished up some of his favourites for the four of them and they had ended up sprawled out on the big L-shaped couch, bellies bloated and full of food, eternally grateful for Bokuto’s choice of career. 

Today was supposed to be no different. Bokuto had shuffled into the kitchen around eleven and turned on the coffee machine. His movements were completely running on autopilot, eyes still heavy and crusted with sleep. A few minutes later, Kuroo, lured in by the scent of bacon and pancake batter, dragged himself into the kitchen and plopped down onto the nearest chair. 

“Nice apron bro!” He smirked, gesturing towards Bokuto’s torso which was currently covered by the image of a naked woman’s body.

“Thanks bro! Still the best Christmas present ever!” Bokuto laughed as he flipped the bacon. “Kenma up? I saw he was still working when I came back last night.”

“Yeah, had to drag the idiot to bed around three in the morning.” Kuroo replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

As if summoned by the mere mention of his name, Kenma appeared in the doorway, pudding hair dishevelled and sticking out in all different directions. Eyelids drooping, he shuffled over to his boyfriend and pulled out another chair.

“It’s alive!” Kuroo announced.

“Not so loud.” Kenma whined as he put his head on the table. Kuroo reached over to ruffle his hair, making it stick up even more.

“How’s the game coming along Kenma?” Bokuto called over his shoulder, still busy handling the various pots and pans.

“Alright I guess. Sometimes I think it’s all just shit and it makes me want to flush it down the toilet.” He mumbled behind the curtain of hair.

“Aww, don’t say that. I bet it’s actually really great!” Bokuto encouraged him, “I can’t wait to play it! What’s it about again?” 

“Medieval open water battles.” Kenma said dryly.

“Hey, hey, hey! That sounds like it’s right up my alley!” Bokuto cheered.

“No it doesn’t.” Kuroo snorted.

“Hey! Yes it does! I’m sure it’s perfect, Kenma. Don’t let this idiot tell you otherwise.” He pointed the spatula accusingly at a still cackling Kuroo. 

Kenma just rolled his eyes, which told them that he was officially done talking about his job for the day. Thankfully, Akaashi chose this moment to enter the kitchen, hair still wet from his shower. He waved a hand at Kuroo and Kenma before leaning in to give Bokuto a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey Akaashi!” Kuroo called over the table, “How was clinic yesterday? I can’t believe how busy it got, I didn’t even see you. Any interesting cases?”

“Um, not really.” Akaashi said, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Just a couple check-ups, cleanings, two fillings. Although there was one boy who almost bit my finger off.”

“Ah, the little ones are always full of surprises, let me tell you.” Kuroo leaned back in his chair, reminiscing. “I remember the first time I got bitten like it was yesterday. The little shit went right through the glove with his fangs and just held on like a fucking leech. It actually started bleeding and I was sure I was gonna lose the finger for good. I still have the scar right here, see?” He held his finger out to Kenma.

“Uh-huh.” Kenma had pulled out his phone and made no move to acknowledge him.

“KENMA! You’re not even looking! I said I could’ve lost my ENTIRE FUCKING FINGER!”

“What an inconvenience.” Kenma said dryly.

Bokuto broke out in a fit of laughter as Kuroo threatened to put his boyfriend in a headlock, and even Akaashi’s lips curled upwards into a small smile. 

The food was done ten minutes later, and they all sat down ready to dig in.

“Wow Bo, you’ve really outdone yourself this time, this is fucking delicious!” Kuroo managed through a mouth full of food. The others weren’t sure how he was even talking, let alone getting air to his lungs.

“You say that every week, Kuro.” Kenma pointed out, nibbling on a rasher of bacon.

“That’s because I mean it every week.” Kuroo insisted, gulping down another big bite.

Kenma gave him a slightly disgusted look, then turned to face Bokuto.

“He’s right though. This is really good.”

“Thanks, Kenma-kun.” Bokuto said, rubbing his neck, clearly flattered to be on the receiving end of his friend’s rare compliments.

“I second that.” Akaashi agreed to his right, wiping his mouth and squeezing Bokuto’s hand on the table.

“Thanks babe. Glad I can make you guys happy.”

“By the way, Kenma.” Kuroo seemed to have finished his first of many portions, turning to look over at his boyfriend. “I checked the records yesterday and you’re due for a check-up at the clinic. I booked you in for 11 on Friday before my lunch break.”

Kenma just gave an annoyed exhale, eyes back on his phone.

“Come ooon Kenma∼” Kuroo sung as he leaned in, wiggling his brows, “I’ll even buy you lunch after.”

“Fine.”

“Aright, alright! That’s exactly the enthusiasm I was hoping for!” Kuroo cheered.

“Whatever Kuro.”

Akaashi let out a sigh.

“You know, I’ve been trying to get Koutarou here to come for a check-up for ages now.” He said, chin resting on his hand, glancing from Kuroo to Bokuto.

Bokuto couldn’t help the flush of embarrassment that promptly developed on his neck and he quickly occupied himself by scooping another portion onto his plate. 

“What can I say, I’m a busy guy!” He laughed nervously, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. Only it seemed Kuroo hadn’t gotten the memo.

“Not in the mornings you’re not.” He objected, looking at Bokuto over the table.

Damn you, Kuroo. Way to ruin the fucking brunch.

“Well…y-you know…” Bokuto stumbled over his words, not liking the sudden spotlight to be on him. He could feel his pulse picking up under his skin as he tried to think of a way out of the conversation, his chest growing ever so slightly tighter. 

Kuroo helped himself to his third serving. “You should come in with Kenma next week, bro. Akaashi is one of the best in his year, he’ll take great care of you.”

“It’s just for fun.” Akaashi said next to him, “I’ll give you a cleaning and a check-up and then we can go out for lunch, my treat.”

Bokuto wanted to disagree with him. To tell him he had a whole different idea of ‘fun’. One that didn’t involve his boyfriend poking around in his mouth with sharp metal objects.

He put his fork down, his appetite had suddenly vanished completely. It seemed he had hit a dead end in his search of possible escape routes. Desperately, he looked to Kenma for help because damn, why would the two gang up on him like this?! It wasn’t fair! 

Kenma, however, seemed completely oblivious of his panic and only had eyes for the device in front of him. 

‘This is it’, Bokuto thought. It seemed he couldn’t hide from his boyfriend’s profession for much longer. If he didn’t come up with a good excuse right about now, all his walls threatened to crumble come next Friday. There was no way he could face his fear. He wasn’t ready. Not now. Not ever!

Bokuto could feel his pulse hammering in his ears, his hand balling into a tight fist under the table.

“Helloooo…earth to Koutarou.” A hand waved in front of his face. Blinking rapidly, Bokuto focussed back on the scene in front of him, his eyes meeting those of a frowning Akaashi.

“You okay?”

Bokuto shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the panic that was still rising inside of him. Akaashi was waiting for him to give an answer. An answer to something that, for most people, wasn’t even worth worrying about. Then why was it that his body reacted like he was being chased by a fucking sabre-toothed tiger for crying out loud?! 

Acutely aware of the pressure of silence and the two pairs of eyes on him, Bokuto did the unthinkable.

“Of course I’ll come. It’ll be great!”

Satisfied, Akaashi and Kuroo turned back to their plates, talking about the game of two against two they had planned for the following day. Their voices a hum of indistinct muffles in Bokuto’s head. He could only sit there, his mind unable to comprehend what just happened or what he had even said yes to. 

Then, slowly, realization dawned on him. 

Dentist. 

Pain.

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! 

He had to get out of this. There was no way he was going, absolutely no way! He could only get of this mess if he came up with a good strategy. Perhaps he could pretend to have forgotten the appointment or pretend to have other plans, hopefully without hurting Akaashi’s feelings too much. Yeah, he would have to figure something out. Literally anything!

Bokuto continued to stay quiet for the rest of the meal, the thoughts racing each other inside his head like cars around a track. Soon, Akaashi and Kuroo busied themselves with clearing the table. Kuroo insisted on carrying all the pans, plates, glasses, and coasters at once over to the kitchen aisle. Akaashi went with him, arms raised half-way in anticipation, just in case the elder dropped something.

Bokuto, still caught up in his own thoughts, just stared blankly at the table.

“You should tell him.”

He turned towards Kenma, who was watching him intently with cat-like eyes. Bokuto looked at him incredulously, as if Kenma had suggested for him to jump out the window. Seems like he had known all along. Bokuto was so utterly fucked.

“I can’t.” Was all he choked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! What do we think? Off to a decent start? God, it feels good to finally unleash this from my brain. A bit like a song that's been stuck in your head...anyway, see you for the next chapter hopefully (*＾▽＾)／


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Told y'all I had a few chapters lined up and ready to go. Sorry to anyone I initially bated with the summary. The passage is in this chapter, I promise, it just fit so well that I included it as a little sneak peak. Also, we're finally getting into some dental action with this one, woop woop. Big thanks to anyone who left kudos and comments on the first chapter, you guys are the real MVPs!
> 
> *** Warning: There is an anxiety attack in this chapter, so just be aware of that. I know the whole fic is pure angst but be mindful and take care of yourself if you need to. No shame in that! ***

On Friday morning, Bokuto found himself sitting in that exact same spot at the wooden table, face buried in his hands. He had tried all week to get Akaashi to move his appointment to a later date. Needless to say, to no avail. 

All possible resources had been exhausted. None of his excuses coming close to being convincing enough. Hell, he had even gotten close to faking an illness and taking days off work just to be able to stay home instead. God, he was really in it deep this time.

The problem was, Akaashi was assertive and would see through his lies instantly if they weren’t properly strategized. He had already said yes to going, had known the appointment would take place for almost a week. His life wasn’t exciting enough to provide him with any good last-minute escape routes to fall back on.

The last thing Bokuto wanted, besides going to the appointment of course, was Akaashi growing suspicious. And then he would really be in trouble.

Still. He hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since their conversation over brunch. More often than not, he had found himself lying awake, until the early hours of the morning, shifting restlessly next to a softly-snoring Akaashi. 

When he did manage to drift off from sheer exhaustion, he was greeted with the sight of Akaashi and Kuroo bent over his form like giants, pointy torture tools in hand. Their once familiar features were covered by surgical masks, only their eyes visible. Even so, Bokuto knew they were grinning mercilessly down at him, their eyes cold and without compassion. He was strapped to the sickening chair, with nowhere to run, no chance of escaping. They were going to hurt him. He was going to scream, and they were going to continue torturing him until he was broken. 

He would startle awake with a jolt just a few hours later, bathed in sweat and breathing laboured.

Which had led them to Friday.

Doomsday.

When Akaashi’s alarm had blared at 6 o’clock, Bokuto was already wide awake, the result of yet another intense nightmare. With his back towards to his lover, he had continued to stare the wall with glazed-over eyes as he felt Akaashi slowly rolling out of bed. When he heard him tiptoeing around the bed, Bokuto had quickly snapped his eyelids shut, pretending to be asleep, until the door finally clicked shut. 

He had laid there, unable to move or open his eyes, the weight of what was to come threatening to crush him into dust. Eventually, Bokuto’s restless and overly desperate brain had admitted defeat. There was simply no way out after all. Years of avoidance and careful strategizing hadn’t been enough to save him from this day.

Curling himself into a ball, Bokuto had pressed his face into the pillow in a silent scream, tears spilling over his eyes, moistening the fabric beneath him. His hands had clawed at the sheets, pulling them up to his chest, trying to ease the growing tightness he felt there. His body shaken sporadically by sobs and hiccups, he had rocked himself back and forth until he could feel his eyes going dry and a throbbing headache forming at his temples. So he let his body go limp, drifting off into another hazy couple hours of sleep. 

The next time he looked over at his alarm clock, it was almost ten. With the tears having subsided and his lungs no longer burning like he was trapped underwater, Bokuto sat up in bed, empty eyes unfocussed, and decided that coffee might be a decent place to start.

So, there he was, a steaming cup beside him on the table, the feeling of hopeless and doom still ever so prominent and at the forefront of his mind.

“You look like shit.”

He didn’t even have the energy to look up from his hands.

Silence. Then, footsteps.

“Koutarou.”

The voice was closer now and Bokuto could feel a small, tentative hand on his shoulder.

Finally, he dropped his hands and turned to look over at Kenma, a little surprised that the setter had initiated physical contact.

‘He must be worried.’ He thought.

“Holy…” Kenma breathed, when his eyes met Bokuto’s, the bags under the spiker’s eyes a stark contrast to his otherwise ashen complexion.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Not really, no.” Was all Bokuto could offer as a response, looking back at his hands.

Kenma was silent again. He slid into the closest chair.

“You know,” He started hesitantly, “they’re both really good at what they do. Every time I go in to for an appointment, Kuro always takes really good care of me. He’s so good that I even get bored sometimes. And you know Keiji, he wouldn’t hurt a fly and especially not you. He loves you so much. I think he would understand if you told him how scared you are. He just wants to help...Koutarou?”

Tears had welled up in Bokuto’s eyes, but he made no move to wipe them away. His hands were still clenched into fists on the table.

Kenma was at a loss for what to do. He wasn’t good with other people’s feelings. They made him uncomfortable. Touching Bokuto’s shoulder had already put enough of a strain on his social capacities as it was. But damn, if ever he had seen a more miserable-looking person in his life.

Maybe, Kenma thought, this was similar to making sure your teammate was okay. Like when he used to play at Nekoma. Sometimes, one of the other players would have a bad day and without their usual mood boosters like Yamamoto and Kuroo around, he had been forced to deal with the situation. This was no different. And Koutarou wasn’t just his teammate, he was his friend. So he couldn’t abandon him when he really needed his help now, could he. Kenma knew he would have to suck it up and get over himself if he wanted to be there for him. What was one time anyway.

Slowly, he reached out and laid his hand on top of one of Bokuto’s.

It had been meant as a gesture of comfort. But apparently, it seemed to have the opposite effect, seeing as Bokuto finally broke down with a heart-wrenching sob.

“I hate this. So much.” He sobbed, tears streaming down his face and dripping down onto his T-shirt. 

“I know.” Was all Kenma could supply.

“Out of all people, why does _my_ boyfriend have to be a fucking…you know…” 

“I know.” Kenma said again, his hand still resting on top of Bokuto’s. “But you’re going to be ok. It might not feel like it now, but you will. Trust me.”

Bokuto gave a hollow laugh, the sound of it so different from his usual, boisterous roaring as it reverberated off the walls.

“Come on. We need to go soon.” Kenma tugged on his hand.

Bokuto could sense himself being pulled up and out of his seat, but it was like he was in a trance. He could see that his legs were moving, one foot in front of the other, but couldn’t feel anything. He was completely numb.

***

The waiting area of the university’s dental hospital wasn’t busy that day, for which Bokuto was eternally grateful. No need for a bunch of strangers to witness him breaking down in front of his dentist boyfriend. They were sitting at the end of a row of plastic chairs, opposite the reception desk. Kenma was absent-mindedly scrolling through his phone, while Bokuto was perched on his elbows, wringing his hands in his lap.

He didn’t have the energy to lift his eyes from where they were glued to his shoes and to look around the room. The smell alone was doing enough to make his throat feel like it was closing up.

There was no way of telling just how long they had sat there like that before Kenma nudged him with his foot. Lifting his gaze for the first time since their arrival, Bokuto watched as Akaashi and Kuroo strolled towards them, both dressed in navy scrubs. 

It was the first time that Bokuto was seeing Akaashi in anything besides gym shorts, jeans, or their school uniform at Fukurodani. A part of his brain vaguely registered that, had he not been scared shitless, he would have probably been incredibly turned on.

“Oi! You made it!” Came Kuroo’s cheerful greeting across the waiting area.

“Yeah” Bokuto had trouble returning the smile, his face muscles stretching into what he assumed must have looked like a pained grimace.

Akaashi leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Bokuto took a shaky breath.

“Are you both signed in already?” Kuroo asked, grabbing one of Kenma’s hands and pulling him up from his seat.

“Yup.” Kenma responded.

“Alright kids! Let’s rock and roll, shall we?” Kuroo pumped one of his fists into the air.

“Please stop.”

But Kenma was already getting pulled towards one of the corridors leading to the examination rooms. They could still hear Kuroo’s barking laughter even after the two had long rounded the corner. Bokuto, who had made no move to rise from his seat, only stared after them.

“Am I going to have to drag you back there as well? Because I would rather not.” Akaashi said above him, breaking Bokuto out of his daze.

He still didn’t trust himself to form a coherent sentence, so he just shook his head.

“You’re quiet.” He remarked, narrowing his eyes. “Are you nervous?”

“A little.” Bokuto mumbled softly.

Understatement of the fucking century.

“That’s alright, I understand most people hate it here. We will be done before you know it.” Akaashi said casually as he held out his hand.

Bokuto took another shaky breath before pushing himself out of the chair and weaving his fingers into Akaashi’s. Warmth. Comforting warmth spread over his palm. Just the feeling of his Akaashi’s delicate hand in his own instantly made him relax his shoulders and unlock his jaw, which he now realised had been clenched tightly.

The feeling of his bofriend’s skin against his own, even concentrated in a small area like this, shining like the smallest ray of light, illuminated the complete darkness of his panic. 

Maybe…just maybe, there was chance he could survive this after all. Akaashi had always been his rock. Grounding, comforting, and stable. He wouldn’t hurt him. He had to just had to trust him. Give him the benefit of the doubt. The thought gave him something to latch on to and, for a blissful second, he was almost able to bear the knowledge of where he was and what was about to happen.

That was, until Akaashi suddenly opened a door to their left and pulled Bokuto inside with him.

'NOPE! Absolutely no fucking way in hell. I take everything back!' 

The thoughts in his head immediately went absolutely haywire. There were too amny of them, jumbled together in the cramped space. They were bashing into each other, bouncing, ducking, twisting. There was utter chaos, a mass collision of emotions, one crashing into the next at lightning speed. It was like entering a room full of people, all shouting over one another at the top of their lungs. No way of knowing who was saying what, the sheer volume threatening to drown him.

The panic he had managed to push down bubbled back up his throat, burning and threatening to boil over, to leave him on the floor in a puddle of anxiety and dread. Bokuto’s eyes widened in shock as he took in the olive-green chair that took up most of the space in the small room. There were different tubes and cables hooked up to it and he instinctively flinched away at the sight, his breath catching in his throat.

This was where modern torture took place. This was where people came to die. 

“Take a seat.”

He barely registered that Akaashi had spoken. He setter stood with his back to Bokuto, leaning over a computer set up against the far wall.

He would rather throw himself off a cliff than sit down in that thing, so much was certain. There was no way he would give in. No way he would just lie still and quietly endure it. Nu-uh. _Not again._

Then why was it that his feet suddenly started moving? There was no way his brain had authorised the action. In fact, if he was going to move, shouldn’t it have been in the opposite direction?! But there was no mistaking. His feet were taking him closer and closer towards the chair.

Almost zombie-like, Bokuto could feel himself being dragged forward. He could hear his pulse hammering in ears, drowning all other background noise. His lungs were on fire, burning like he had just completed ten sprints up the ‘punishment hill’. His feet, although still moving, felt heavy, as if they were made of concrete rather than flesh and bone.

Slowly, he lowered himself onto the chair, his hands immediately going to grip tightly at the armrests on either side. This whole thing was getting way too real for his liking. This wasn’t simply dipping your toes in unfamiliar waters. If anything, more like being buried to the waist in fucking quicksand. 

He leaned back and could feel the padded headrest against the nape of his neck. The material felt weird against his body. Soft yet firm at the same time. _Ew._

In a weak effort at distracting himself, Bokuto let his gaze wander around the room. To his left, he there was a tray with a couple of metal instruments on it – a little hand-held mirror and a pointy-looking thing. 

On his right, an array of other tools was propped up in a neat row, all of them attached to wires or tubes. Bokuto’s eyes drifted to the all too familiar tool on the far right and his heart stopped.

Drill.

He felt as if someone had pushed him head-first into a frozen lake, the cold water threatening to pull him under, numbing his limbs and turning his blood to ice.

‘Get out! Get the fuck OUT!’ Bokuto’s voice screamed inside his head. But he couldn’t move. Couldn’t even blink.

What the fuck was he still doing here?! Why wasn't he running?! Why wasn't he hiding?! Why were his legs not obeying his fucking orders?!

'Get.the.fuck.out.now.'

He should’ve long made it to the door by now, before Akaashi would have a chance to notice or catch up to him. Desperate, his gaze flashed from the tools to Akaashi to the door, trying to calculate just how many steps it would take to reach it and escape into blissful freedom. He knew he was faster. If only his legs would start MOVING!

GOD WHY WAS HE STILL NOT MOVING?!

Akaashi suddenly broke through his panic, straightening from and turning away from the computer to face him. Bokuto was still completely frozen in the chair, his knuckles now completely white against the fabric of the armrests.

Akaashi pulled over a little swivel stool and sat down gracefully, rolling to sit beside him.

“You’re being weird.” He cocked his head to the side. “And you’re pale. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Peachy.” Bokuto forced out between clenched teeth.

“No...” Akaashi was still watching him, his eyes narrowing as he focussed in on Bokuto’s face. 

“Wait a second...don’t tell me you’re...” his eyes travelled down to the death grip Bokuto had on the armrests, then back up to his face.

Right then, Bokuto saw something click into place in Akaashi’s expression. The younger shifted and, a moment later, realisation crossed his features. Which could only mean one thing.

“You have a phobia of dentists.” 

It wasn’t a question.

Well fuck.

Silence. Dreadful silence.

Bokuto could only stare in shock.

Akaashi took that as confirmation of his hypothesis.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was softer now and Bokuto could make out the disappointment in it.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Water spill over his eyes, and with it the barrel of emotions, blurring his vision, soaking his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. The sobs he had tried to keep in since leaving the apartment now shook his frame in violent jolts. He felt his shoulders cave and grabbed at his chest, desperately seeking oxygen. There didn’t seem to me enough of it in the small room. God why was it so hard to breathe?! 

He had never felt so pathetic. So stupid. Akaashi had sounded hurt. And it was all his fault. Why did he have to make such a big deal out of this? Out of nothing? Why couldn’t he just be normal and okay, like everyone else? 

He wasn’t normal, he was disgusting. A disappointment. Nothing but a massive inconvenience. He couldn’t even be good enough for his boyfriend right now. He couldn’t pull himself together just this once and get over his stupid fear. Akaashi deserved better. He deserved to be with someone without such laughable phobias, someone who wouldn’t freak out over something as small as a dentist appointment…

‘Maybe he would be better off without me.’

Bokuto couldn’t tell how much time had passed. It could’ve been seconds, minutes, even hours. He had no idea. He still couldn’t breathe. He was gasping, desperate for air to reach his lungs.

Through the haze of his self-deprecation, he could make out the faintest feeling of a hand on his cheek. A thumb softly grazing the skin under his eyes, wiping away the tears. Blinking rapidly, he tried to focus on the blurry figure next to him, some of their features vaguely familiar. 

‘Keiji.’ 

Akaashi was still here. He hadn’t left. He knew the truth and he hadn’t left. 

He could make out that Akaashi's lips were moving and had to force himself to zone in on the words instead of the roaring chaos in his head. At first, the words sounded muffled, like he had thick wads of cotton in his ears. He tried again, harder this time.

“-tarou. Hey. Focus on my voice. You’re safe. Everything is okay. Can you take a deep breath for me?...” Akaashi’s voice was getting a little more clear with every second that passed, and Bokuto tried his best to follow his instructions. He vaguely noticed that Akaashi’s tone was calm and reassuring, not a hint of judgement or annoyance in it. 

“That’s it. Hold...and breathe out. Again. In…hold…and out. You’re okay. I’m here…Keep breathing.” Slowly, Bokuto let himself be pulled back into the small room, guided by Akaashi’s voice. He was still sitting in the horrible chair, only he was leaning forward now, fingers digging into his thighs. 

Akaashi was leaning over him from where he was still sitting on his stool. Close enough for Bokuto to feel his presence. Far enough to leave him with enough room to breathe.

The hand that wasn’t cupping Bokuto’s cheek rested on his back, rubbing small, reassuring circles.

Bokuto noticed the softness of Akaashi's features. What a pretty face. Of only it wasn’t for the hint of worry beneath it. 

“Hey” Akaashi said once he was certain Bokuto had fully retuned to him.

“H-hey…” Bokuto breathed. His brain was completely drained from the panic and he was grateful to discover that instead, there was a comforting numbness now spreading in its place. It was like a plug had been pulled, all the noise slowly draining away.

“How are you feeling?” Akaashi asked him. Bokuto thought for a second but his clouded mind couldn’t quite come up with a satisfying answer.

“Okay. I think.”

“Good” Akaashi breathed out, clearly relieved. Bokuto felt another sting of guilt for having made a scene and dropped his gaze to his lap.

“Koutarou, hey, look at me.” Akaashi reached out to take hold of his hands. Bokuto turned to face him with a doleful expression.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed for what just happened, not for one second. So stop feeling sorry for yourself. We all have things we are afraid of. I love you. And I’m not going to judge you for anything that happens in here, not as your boyfriend and not as your dentist.”

Bokuto flinched at the word.

“I know you’re worked up right now” Akaashi continued, “but I think we should try and turn this visit into something positive for you to hold on to. It’s fine if you want to go home, I understand, but I promise that if you think you can hold out for just a little bit longer, we could be out of here in ten minutes tops. Just let me do a quick exam and take some x-rays. That’s all I’m asking for.”

Bokuto mulled over the options in his head. His thoughts were hazy and a bit all over the place. It was difficult to make sense of the mess left behind by the storm. He was just so drained. He wanted to sleep. To wake up and be at home, in his bed. 

But, hidden beneath the rubble and the uncertainty, there was a tiny opening. The smallest ray of light. He could hardly make it out but was sure it existed, nonetheless.

This was his chance to get over this whole thing. As much as he thought of it as a divine punishment, perhaps Akaashi had been put in his life to help him tackle his fear. With his help, he could turn this into something positive. Something that would strengthen their bond instead of smashing it into a million pieces. Lemons to lemonade.

Clinging to this bit of new-found hope, Bokuto distantly felt himself nod. “Alright.” He said hesitantly. “Do what you need to do.”

“I know that this must be really hard for you, Kou. I’m so proud of you. Give me one second and I’ll be ready to start.” Akaashi praised him, leaning in to kiss his lips briefly, before turning around to prep and fetch his equipment. 

Bokuto drew in a shuddered breath. After Akaashi had reached to clip one of those awkward paper bibs around his neck, he let himself lean back in the chair once again, this time closing his eyes. He could more rustling, the running of a tap, and the snapping of latex gloves, but he kept his eyes shut.

“Okay.” Came Akaashi’s voice from somewhere on his right, “I’m going to lean you back now. Just keep taking deep breaths.”

Bokuto could feel himself moving along with the low humming noise until he came to a stop, now lying completely horizontal. He heard something like a switch being flipped and carefully cracked an eye open. 

Akaashi had tuned on the light above him but had been quick to angle it away from Bokuto’s eyes so not to blind him momentarily.

“Are you ready?” Came Akaashi’s voice from above his head. Bokuto squinted to look up at him. Half of Akaashi’s face was now covered by a white surgical mask, leaving only his eyes visible. He was looking expectantly down at Bokuto, tiny mirror and pointy thing in hand.

Bokuto tensed. This sight seemed all too familiar. Made up like this, he wasn’t his sweet Akaashi anymore. Rather, he resembled the Akaashi he had seen in his nightmares. The ones where he was trapped and couldn’t escape.

Akaashi seemed to sense his distress, setting the tools back onto the tray.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s…your face.” Bokuto admitted, a flush of embarrassment creeping up his collar. “It’s all covered up and I feel like you don’t look like Keiji anymore.”

“Oh love, I’m sorry.” Akaashi cooed. His brows drew together in a sympathetic frown. “Tell you what. Why don’t you put your hand on my leg while I do the exam? That way you can feel that it’s me and you can squeeze to let me know if you need a break. Is that okay?”

“I think…yeah. I would like that.” Bokuto said, relieved. He lifted his hand from his lap to snake it underneath the armrest and place it over Akaashi’s knee.

He could feel the familiar shape of the muscle under his fingertips, the faintest bit of body heat threading itself through the fabric of his scrubs. It was oddly comforting and Bokuto instantly felt his chest growing just a little lighter.

“Okay?” Asked Akaashi.

Bokuto took another deep breath, closing his eyes once again.

“Okay.” 

“You’re doing really great, Kou. Just go ahead and open your mouth for me when you’re ready.”

‘This is Keiji.’ Bokuto reminded himself. ‘Keiji loves me. He won’t do anything to hurt me. He won’t be grossed out by anything he will see. He’s only trying to help. This is Keiji. Keiji loves me…’

Gathering all the strength he could find within himself, he took one final breath before slowly parting his lips.

Bokuto continued his mantra as he felt Akaashi slip the tools into his mouth, the metal softly clinking against his enamel. It didn’t hurt, but that didn’t mean it was nice either. He was aware of the coldness of the mirror against the inside of his cheek. The weird stretch up his lips. Then something lightly and methodically tapping and scraping against his gumline. He hated the sensation. His tongue felt too big in his mouth and completely out of place. How in the way it must be. He moved it from left to right nervously as he felt the instruments travel around between his jaws.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so out of control and vulnerable, the situation a stark difference from playing volleyball or working in a busy kitchen. On the court, he was in complete control of his own actions, positive or negative, including their consequences. When in doubt, it was always better to go down hustling and trying your best rather than standing still. But here, he felt so passive and utterly exposed.

Of course, he had always taken great care of his teeth since he usually avoided dentists like the plague. He even flossed every single night. Okay, maybe not _every_ single night. But who fucking did?

Still. What if Akaashi found something? What if he had to come back and get something else done? Something painful?

As the exam went on, Bokuto started growing more and more fidgety in his seat, the nervousness spreading and blooming anew in his gut. Despite his growing discomfort, he continued to keep his eyes shut, too afraid of what he might see if he opened them. 

With another clink from the instruments around his molars he sucked in a harsh breath, his right hand gripped tightly onto Akaashi’s thigh, fingertips digging deep into the fabric of his scrubs. Immediately, Akaashi paused his prodding and scraping, removing the tools from his mouth. 

“Did I hurt you? Do you need a break? If you give me two more minutes I’ll be done, promise.”

Bokuto inhaled deeply, silently welcoming the unhindered flow of oxygen to his lungs and cracked an eye open to look up at his boyfriend.

“You didn’t hurt me.” He admitted. “It just feels weird and I needed a second. I think I’m okay now.” Closing his eyes once again, he opened his mouth, signalling for Akaashi to continue.

Akaashi wasted no time, slipping mirror and explorer back inside. 

After another painstakingly long minute, Bokuto finally felt Akaashi retract the tools from his mouth.

“Almost done.” Akaashi said before he had time to welcome the absence of the metal, a gloved finger still hooked inside his cheek. “Okay. Can you bite together for me please?”

Bokuto complied, feeling his lips being peeled away from his teeth. He knew he must have looked ridiculous but tried his best not to dwell on the thought for too long. 

“Alright, that’s the hard bit done.” Akaashi announced. “Well done, Kou.”

Bokuto released a long, shuddering breath.

Instantly, he felt sweet relief flush through his veins and into his chest. He had done it! He had actually done it! He had officially endured a dental examination from his dentist boyfriend!!!

He didn’t even feel the small smile that crept over his lips. He was too occupied ravishing the feeling of the massive weight that was now lifted off his shoulders. The stress from avoiding the dentist for so long, built up over all those years, slowly ebbing away. 

“Babe.” Akashi tried to get his attention. Looking over, Bokuto noticed he had been moved upright again. Akaashi had rid him of the bib and himself of his mask and gloves. As he looked into his lover’s eyes, all he could see in them was adoration and sincerity. 

“You did so well. I’m really proud of you for pushing through. Why don’t we go over to the x-ray room and then head home? I’ve already cleaned everything up in here.”

Bokuto gave a nod. Taking x-rays was okay.

Akaashi held out his hand and Bokuto took it gladly, letting himself be pulled out of the chair. Taking his first steps, he was still a bit wobbly on his feet. Akaashi just held onto his hand a little tighter until he felt steady again.

He was rewarded with a small smile from Akaashi, the one he knew was Bokuto’s favourite.

Together, they left the exam room behind and, after having Bokuto stand in the middle of a loud and rotating machine for his x-rays, finally exited the clinic.

When they arrived back at their apartment, Bokuto instantly collapsed on the big couch, not even bothering to take off his shoes and jacket. With a long sigh he buried his head deep in one of the cushions, his mind and body completely spent from mental and physical exhaustion. 

They had only been at the clinic for about an hour and it was barely past noon, yet to Bokuto, it felt like a lifetime ago that he had sat at the table, bawling his eyes out in front of Kenma.

Which reminded him.

“Does Kuroo know we went home?” He called over his shoulder to Akaashi, who joined him in the living room a second later, having exchanged his scrubs for sweatpants and a loose T-shirt.

“I texted him.”

“Thanks. I’m really glad you didn’t have any more appointments today.” Bokuto said with a yawn, crawling over to place his head in Akaashi’s lap.

“Yeah, that was lucky.” Akaashi admitted.

There was a moment of silence and Bokuto could already feel himself being pulled into welcomed unconsciousness.

“You know, we’ll have to talk about what happened in there eventually.” He heard Akaashi say above him. He had started to thread his fingers through Bokuto’s hair in a lazy pattern, only making him even more sleepy.

Bokuto wasn’t going to argue. There would be time for that later. Right now, he was too tired to care.

“Sure.” Was all he mumbled, before giving into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap for chapter 2. The secret is officially out. Poor little Bo, I hope he's okay ahaha. Hope you enjoyed and see you on the next one!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh. Looks like we finally get to find out if there is something wrong with Bo's teeth. Hope it's nothing too serious hehe...  
> I'm so pumped for this chapter, I feel like it's my little baby. Not as long as the other ones, but there's definitely something in there that speaks to my soul.
> 
> Once again, THANK YOU so so so much to everyone that keeps clicking and commenting on this story - I was having a shit day today but reading your messages always makes it a little better!  
> Hope you enjoy!

It had been an hour since they returned from the clinic when Akaashi heard the jingling of keys, followed by their apartment door opening and two pairs of feet shuffling in the corridor. Another moment later, he was able to make out the hushed voices of his roommates. Bokuto was still snowing softly and obliviously in his lap.

“Kenma…come on, don’t be mad. We don’t have to talk about it anymore today…”

“I have work to do.”

“Kenma…”

A door clicked shut, Akaashi guessed it was the one that led to the guest bedroom.

Kuroo appeared in the doorway of the living room and approached the couple with heavy footsteps, plopping himself down next to them. Ever the heavy sleeper, Bokuto remained unresponsive, making no move to acknowledge the arrival of his friend. 

Kuroo breathed out a long sigh.

“What’s going on with Kenma?” Akaashi asked him.

“Ah, well” Kuroo scratched at his neck, “Kenma and I had a little argument today. I told him he needs to have his wisdom teeth out. I thought he was gonna be fine but lately they’ve started growing in all wrong. None of them are impacted or anything, he’s not in pain, but yeah…”

Akaashi winced in sympathy.

“All four?”

“Yep.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Yeah.” Kuroo looked at his hands in his lap. “He’ll come around eventually. I mean, I get it. Surgery is no fun for anyone.”

He raised his glance over at Bokuto’s sleeping form.

“So what happened to Mister Comatose over there?”

“Where do I even start…” Akaashi sighed. He craned his neck to catch a glimpse at Bokuto’s face, making sure he was truly asleep before he continued.

“Turns out Koutarou is phobic.” Akaashi said quietly.

For a second, Kuroo looked completely dumbfounded. 

“What?!” The elder whisper-shouted, scrambling to sit up. “Our Bo? _This_ idiot?” He pointed at Bokuto for emphasis, who was drooling peacefully on Akaashi’s sweatpants.

“Shh, don’t wake him.” Akaashi slapped Kuroo’s leg, before returning his hand to Bokuto’s hair.

“So?!” Kuroo looked at him expectantly. “Tell me what happened!”

“Well, I could tell that he was nervous, but I had no idea it was _this_ bad. He broke down once we were in the exam room and I’m pretty sure he had an anxiety attack. For a second, I even thought he was even going to faint from getting himself all worked up. Took a while for him to calm down but I managed to convince him to me do an exam and take x-rays. That was it.”

“Woah, no way!” Kuroo looked from Akaashi over to Bokuto, his expression softening. “I had no idea.”

“Neither did I. God, I was so stupid.” Akaashi rubbed a hand over his face. “No wonder he’s never come in before. You should’ve seen him, Tetsu. Even _I_ don’t think I’ve ever seen him this frightened before.”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. He clearly didn’t want you to know. It’s just unfortunate he had to suffer in silence.”

They fell quiet, both of them deep in thought.

Akaashi could tell that Kuroo was only trying to be reassuring, but it did nothing to ease the nagging guilt he felt for not noticing his boyfriend’s distress sooner. If only he had paid more attention.

After a moment, Kuroo spoke up again.

“Something wrong with him then? Did you find anything?”

“I’m afraid so.” Akaashi sighed, reaching into his pocket, careful not to disturb the sleeping wing spiker in his lap while fumbling for his phone. He tapped the screen a few times before finding what he was looking for.

“We have…a cavity on 15 – occlusal, not too deep. And then another one on 29 – distal. He also has an old filling on 4 that I don’t like the look of. Whoever did it either didn’t care enough to do a good job or just straight-up couldn’t. No decay under it as far as I can see, so I don’t think it needs replacing right this second but probably worth keeping an eye on. Here.”

He held his phone out to Kuroo. 

“I sent his x-ray to my phone from the computer at the clinic. Don’t even give me that look, I’ll delete it after today. I just didn’t want to make him stay any longer.”

Kuroo had eyed him for a second with raised eyebrows before directing his attention at the image on the screen. His brows furrowed in concentration as he studied it for a couple of minutes, using two fingers here and there to zoom in on the spots Akaashi had mentioned.

Finally, he let out a quiet whistle.

“I think I agree with your diagnosis.” He handed the phone back to Akaashi. “What are you thinking for treatment?”

Akaashi scratched his neck nervously.

“Well, I was actually hoping to talk to you about that. I haven’t even told Koutarou about any of this, so I would appreciate it if you could let me speak to him first…But I was going to suggest that you lead the appointment, Tetsu.”

Kuroo had to let that statement sink in for a second, eyeing him incredulously.

“Me?”

“I just think I need to be there for him” Akaashi continued quickly, before Kuroo had a chance to turn him down, “and I can’t really do that while I’m doing the procedure at the same time. I was able to handle it today because it was only an exam, but he might be even more nervous when it comes to actually getting treatment. I trust you of course and I think it would help to have one of us do it. And I’ll assist you. That way I can monitor him the whole time.” Akaashi tilted his head to look down at Bokuto’s peaceful features. “I just don’t want him to have a bad experience.” He said quietly. “You understand that don’t you?”

Kuroo rubbed at his chin, considering Akaashi’s words and glancing down at his best friend. 

Of course he understood. He wanted to be there for Bokuto. He wanted to help show him that he had nothing to be afraid of. He had to admit, Akaashi’s logic made sense. Had their roles been reversed and it had been Kenma they were talking about, he would have reached the same conclusion. Better for Bokuto to have his boyfriend and best friend by his side going through this instead of a complete stranger.

He sighed in defeat. “Alright, I’m in. If you can get him to agree, we should probably do this as soon as possible. Next Friday.”

“Thank you, Tetsurou. I am in your debt.” Akaashi said, relieved.

“Nah, don’t even mention it. What can I say, I have a soft spot for the guy. I might even go as far as saying I love him more than you do.” Kuroo said with a wink and his signature cat-like smirk.

“You just keep telling yourself that.” Akaashi deadpanned. “Now go and fix your relationship with your _own_ boyfriend.”

Kuroo chuckled. “Yeah you’re probably right. I think he’s had enough time to himself. I’ll go see what he’s up to.”

He rose from the couch and made his way to the guest bedroom while Akaashi stayed behind, still threading his fingers through Bokuto’s mane.

***

Waking up, Bokuto was almost certain that his nap had blessed him with some of the best sleep had gotten in weeks. No joke! Nothing in this world would ever beat falling asleep in Akaashi’s lap with the setter’s fingers running softly over his scalp. It was a universal fact.

Bokuto let his sleepy eyes slowly readjust to his surroundings. Akaashi had stretched out his legs across the angle of the couch, his head tilted to the side to look over at something on his phone. His eyebrows were pulled together in concentration as he frowned at the small screen.

Bokuto reached up to smooth over the line with his thumb. “Whatcha looking at?”

“Hey” Akaashi greeted him softly, lowering the phone. “Nothing special. How was your nap?”

Bokuto yawned loudly, stretching his limbs in every direction and earning a satisfying crack from a couple of the joints.

“Like, so good!” He stated. “What time is it?”

“Just after two. We still have time before your shift.”

Bokuto turned to nuzzle his face into Akaashi’s stomach, pulling the hem of his T-shirt over his head and wrapping his muscular arms around the setter’s waist. Akaashi’s scent and body heat engulfed him welcomingly and Bokuto couldn’t help the blissful sigh that escaped his lips.

He had no problem staying like this for the rest of eternity.

After a moment, however, he felt a light tap on his head.

“Kou?”

“Mh?”

“We need to talk about what happened today. Please.”

Bokuto froze, his face still pressed into the skin of Akaashi’s abdomen. Damn. He had completely forgotten about the appointment earlier. 

He had been so out of it that it felt almost like a dream and not something that had actually happened. But it most certainly had, the memories now flooding back into his consciousness.

“Don’t wanna.” Came his muffled response from underneath the fabric.

“I know you don’t, but we have to. Please Kou.” Akaashi insisted. 

Bokuto sighed. “Can we stay like this?” 

He couldn’t face Akaashi. He was too embarrassed as it was and with everything that had happened at the clinic. The last thing he wanted was to look into his boyfriend’s eyes while spilling his guts about his phobia.

“Fine.”

A moment of silence. Bokuto assumed Akaashi was looking for the right question to ask first. Then…

“How long has it been since the last time you saw a dentist?”

Immediately, his grip around Akaashi’s waist tightened. He didn’t like where this was going at all. Not one bit. And there was a pretty good chance that Akaashi wouldn’t like his answer either. He would be disappointed, probably disgusted. What made him think he was ever going to be ready to have this conversation?

Akaashi noticed his boyfriend’s growing distress. His hand went to lightly scratch at Bokuto’s head over his T-shirt.

“Kou, I want you to be honest with me. It’s the only way we can move forward from now on, do you understand?” He said, more sternly this time. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I will not judge you. I just want to help, so I need to know.”

Bokuto knew he was right. He wasn’t stupid. Deep down, of course, he knew that Akaashi had never judged anyone for literally anything. It was time to pull himself together and face this thing head on, once and for all. But damn, was it _hard_.

‘Be brave. Be brave for Keiji.’

Finally, Bokuto broke the silence with a strangled sob.

“Eight years.”

“Oh Kou…”

The next thing he knew was that the shirt was gone from his head and Akaashi had pulled him up into a firm embrace. For what felt like the millionth time that day, hot tears stung in his eyes as he sobbed against Akaashi’s shoulder.

There was so much guilt, so much pain that Bokuto had accumulated and locked away inside for years. So many times, he had wanted to tell Akaashi about everything. But when it came to it, he couldn’t find the courage. It had always made him feel dishonest, like he was cheating or something like that. He always knew that kicking this door wide open would inevitably lead to a fuckton of pain, threatening to pull him down into the abyss. 

So instead of giving in, of letting himself fall, he tried focussing on Akaashi - his anchor. On his scent. On the arms around him. On the hand rubbing his back. On the warmth of his skin against his cheek. 

He was safe with Akaashi.

Another couple of minutes and many controlled breaths later, Bokuto’s tears finally subsided. Akaashi continued to hold him for just a little longer, making sure he was calm before letting go.

They eventually pulled apart and Bokuto sat back on the couch, rubbing his eyes. Feeling the need to uphold their physical connection, Akaashi reached over and grabbed one of his hands, letting him know he was there.

“You okay, babe?” He asked tentatively.

Bokuto gave one final wipe at his eyes. 

“Yeah…I think so. It’s just a lot. Thanks Kaashi. For being here. For not making me feel worse than I already do.”

“I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you. But I know that my judgement wouldn’t change anything about the situation.” Akaashi said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Can I ask another question?”

“Sure.” Bokuto shrugged, exhaustion slowly creeping up on him.

“What happened that made you stop going? To the dentist, I mean.”

So he wanted to hear _that_ story.

Bokuto hesitated. He didn’t quite know where to start.

“Um. My mom used to take me to this guy when I was younger. He was pretty horrible I guess…” He paused.

“How so?” Akaashi pressed.

“He was just really rough. Like, he never cared if he hurt me or not. Mom wasn’t even allowed to be in the room with me, so she didn’t know. I couldn’t tell her. When I cried and told him I was in pain, he said I was weak and that I was making shit up. One time I had to get a filling and he gave me some of the numbing stuff but I could still feel everything. It hurt so much Keiji, I-”

Bokuto’s breath hitched in his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes again.

“Shh...” Keiji reassured him, rubbing his thumb in small circles over Bokuto’s hand. “Deep breaths, love. In…and out. And again. There’s no rush. Take all the time you need…”

A couple of synchronised breaths later, Bokuto felt comfortable enough to continue.

“It was so many years ago so I’m not even sure what happened exactly. All I know is that I’ve never been in so much pain as I was that day. It felt like it lasted forever. I stopped going back in our second year of High School. Had to make up a couple of excuses at first so mom wouldn’t find out, like that I was going on last-minute away games and shit like that. After a while she just forgot and then I moved out.”

Another moment of silence. Akaashi just sat patiently and waited for his boyfriend to go on.

“When I found out about you and Tetsu wanting to go to university I was so fucking terrified, Keiji. I mean, I love you and I would never hate you just because of the job you have! But I guess I just didn’t want to think that you could hurt me like that guy did…God, I wanted to tell you so many times. But then I just got scared that you would think I was weak. So I pretended I was busy all the time when you asked if you could practice on me. I’m so fucking sorry Keiji. You deserve to be with someone who isn’t as pathetic as me. Someone who doesn’t get scared over something to small…”

Bokuto shook his head, looking down at their intertwined hands.

This was it. All cards officially on the table. 

It was odd. On one hand, Bokuto had never felt this free. The burden of carrying the shame and guilt on his shoulders for all those years had finally been lifted off him. On the other, he couldn’t deny that he had just bared his soul to the love of his life. If Akaashi didn’t want him anymore after this, Bokuto didn’t know what he would do.

Suddenly, one of Akaashi’s hands lifted to cup his chin, tilting his face up until their eyes locked. Storm blue with warm amber. 

“Do me favour.” Akaashi said in a calm voice, carefully emphasising every syllable. “Don’t ever fucking say that again.”

Bokuto blinked. Akaashi was starting to scare him a little. His voice was calm, yet Bokuto could hear the anger behind his words. Anger at him?

“Don’t you ever – and I mean _ever_ – say that you don’t deserve me. I couldn’t give two shits about your fear. I care about _you_.” 

He felt Akaashi’s grip on his chin tighten.

“The person that you are, Koutarou, is the person that I want. Nobody else. Do you understand me?”

Bokuto was still completely stunned. He had no idea if he should be scared or relieved. Maybe a bit of both. But then the words finally settled in his mind. Wide-eyed, he nodded once against Akaashi’s hand.

“Good.” Akaashi released his grip with a sigh, leaning back against the couch.

“So…you still wanna be with me?” Bokuto said with a small voice.

“Of course.” Akaashi said like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

A small smile spread across Bokuto’s face. He couldn’t help the flow of emotions that flooded his chest. Gratefulness, adoration, pride all mixed together until he felt warm and fuzzy.

How did he ever get so lucky to have Akaashi in his life? This right here! This person in front of him was what was worth fighting for. 

He would get over this fear. He would get stronger. This was just like volleyball, Bokuto thought to himself. Nobody started out as a pro in volleyball. You had to train. You had to work your butt off. You had to be uncomfortable, go beyond your limits, in order to get better. This was no different. Growth meant being uncomfortable from time to time.

As he came to this realisation, Bokuto’s shoulders visibly relaxed and so did the muscles in his face, his expression finally settling on determination.

“I want to get over this stupid fear!” Bokuto announced to Akaashi, his eyes bright. “I’m gonna kick its balls to the moon!”

A small smile curled around Akaashi’s lips. This was more like the Bokuto he knew and loved.

“Of course you will.” Akaashi said knowingly. 

After a moment, his expression began to falter slightly, growing into something more serious. Akaashi knew he had to tell Bokuto about their plans eventually. Now would probably be the best time to do it, given that Bokuto had gained some of his confidence back. But he knew he had to tread carefully. This new-found strength was still fragile in his hands. One wrong step and it would shatter into a million pieces.

“Kou, we need to talk about something.” Akaashi began hesitantly. “First of all, I want you to know that I’m really sorry for what happened to you and for what this guy did to you when you were younger. He is an asshole and I sincerely hope he has retired from practicing since you last saw him because otherwise, I might be arrested for homicide. But I want you to listen to me very carefully now. Are you listening?”

“Y-yeah” Bokuto said, stunned.

“Dentistry, if done well, should not hurt. There is no reason why you should be in pain when you are getting any kind of treatment done. Okay?”

Bokuto nodded, not sure where this was going.

“That being said, I noticed a couple things during the exam and on your x-ray that I would like for you to get taken care of.” Akaashi continued.

A couple?!

He had known something like this might be coming his way but kind of hoped he would get lucky, even after eight years of not seeing a dentist. He could feel his mind wanting to spiral again, could feel the familiar pull into darkness, to return to the void of fear and just give in. He willed himself to stay in the present with Akaashi. He trusted Akaashi. Akaashi had never lied to him before. There was no reason why he would start now.

“You have two cavities that need to be filled, Kou. We can get that done for you in under an hour at the clinic next Friday. The reason I say ‘we’ is because I’ve asked Tetsu to join us and for him to do the actual treatment.”

“Why?” Bokuto asked nervously. He wasn’t sure if he wanted anyone besides Akaashi to be in on this, best friends or not.

“It’s not that I’m not qualified.” Akaashi clarified. “But Tetsurou has more experience than me, so you’re even better off with him in this case. I will be assisting him, so that I can be there for you without having to multitask too much. I can hold your hand and keep tabs on us taking breaks and make sure you are comfortable throughout the whole thing. Does that sound okay to you?”

Bokuto considered his words for a second. It all sounded pretty logical. If he was going to have anyone stick their hands in his mouth, it would either be Akaashi or Kuroo. And he felt reassured knowing that Akaashi would be there to hold his hand. It would hopefully make everything a little more bearable.

Finally, after a long moment, Bokuto nodded. “Okay. I think I can do it.”

“You have no idea how proud I am of you.” Akaashi said, pulling Bokuto towards him by his cheeks for a long and passionate kiss. They stayed entangled for a couple of minutes, ravishing in each other’s heat and affection. When they pulled apart, they were both gasping for air, their cheeks flushed, and lips swollen.

“You know what?” Akaashi smirked. “We have about-” He glanced at his phone “an hour and fifty minutes until your shift. I’d say we go to our room and I’ll give you your reward for being so brave today. How does th-”

But Bokuto was already scrambling to get off the couch, almost tumbling over the coffee table. In one quick motion, he swooped Akaashi up into his strong arms. Akaashi barely had enough time to wrap his arms around his neck. Bokuto thought he heard him mumble something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Eager are we’, but he didn’t care. He had his eyes on the prize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit. That must've hit like a brick and a half. Looks like poor Bo will be coming back for more. *rubs hands excitedly*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter. This one's been a little more challenging. I feel like my depression and anxiety have really been battling it out lately and it was sooooo hard coming up with engaging dialogue that was a bit more of a break from the constant angst. Anyway, hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments - you know I always appreciate it and try to make an effort to respond! xx

‘Looks like he really needed the sleep.’ Akaashi thought as he looked over at Bokuto’s sprawled-out form and leaned over to brush a stray strand of owl hair from his lover’s forehead. 

It was Saturday, and Bokuto was still fast asleep next to him, feet tangled in the sheet and drooling all over his favourite pillow. It had been close to 1 o’clock at night when the wing spiker had finally collapsed onto the bed in a crumpled heap, absolutely spent from the day’s events and his late shift. 

Ten hours later and Bokuto really didn’t give off the impression of someone about to jump into action to get a five-star brunch going. In fact, Akaashi thought to himself, it was highly possible that his boyfriend hadn’t moved an inch since he had slid into bed the previous night. Still in the same, awkward position that just couldn’t be good for his neck and back. 

Figuring the burden of being ‘brunch lady’ had fallen into his lap instead, Akaashi quietly rolled over and shuffled towards the bedroom door, shutting it softly behind him. 

First things first. Once in the kitchen, he went over to start the coffee machine. There were no Kuroo or Kenma in sight for him to recruit either. He hadn’t heard anything coming from their room last night, so it seemed Kenma had opted to stay in the guest room. Whatever else they had discussed hadn’t been resolved then.

On the rare occasions that one of the two couples got into a fight, Bokuto tended to go and knock some sense into Kuroo – and vice versa – usually without having to resort to too much physical violence, but you never knew. 

On the same token, Kenma and Akaashi would come together and talk things out in their own way. They had known each other long enough to understand the different dynamics and antics of the relationships and could make each other see things from a different perspective when they needed to. It just made sense.

“Alright.” Akaashi announced to the empty room as he placed his hands on his hips, looking for a place to start. They actually had quite a lot of utensils and equipment stored, hanging, and lying about – all stuff his late aunt and Bokuto had accumulated over the years. 

While Bokuto’s cooking talents had certainly blossomed in culinary school, Akaashi did not consider himself a great chef by any means. He had watched Bokuto work his magic numerous times before, but somehow it was always a different story when he tried himself. Even when he meticulously and methodically followed a recipe to a T, things never quite turned out nearly as appetizing or visually appealing as they were supposed to.

He decided to keep it simple for the day, pulling out a large frying pan for scrambling eggs and another one for some bacon, as well as some toast. The comforting aroma of coffee slowly started wafting around the kitchen, enveloping his senses in a comforting embrace.

As Akaashi started cracking half a dozen eggs into one of the bowls, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to yesterday’s events. The image of Bokuto sitting in the exam chair, tears streaming down his face and struggling to catch his breath, had seared itself painfully into his retinas.

It was all so fucked up. How Akaashi and Kuroo had decided to become the thing that scared Bokuto the most in life by pure chance. He had never meant for any of this to happen. 

He shook his head. In all honesty, he was still silently cursing himself for having been so clueless. For all those years of him studying dentistry, Akaashi had asked Bokuto a fair handful of times if he could practice on him or for him to come by clinic. But Bokuto had always declined with some kind of excuse – to varying degrees of believability, Akaashi now realised. 

But the point was, he had never bothered to look deeper into it. Never pressed enough to get to the bottom of things. Had he not cared enough? Of course not! Bokuto was, no doubt in his mind, one of the most, if not _the_ most important person in his life. 

Perhaps if he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his studies, he wouldn’t have overlooked all the signs so easily. Wouldn’t have missed the red flags. The ones that were only now, in retrospect, starting to fall into place and becoming blaringly obvious.

Bokuto had suffered in silence for eight.fucking.years and Akaashi hadn’t noticed. The realisation weighed heavily on his chest. ‘If only I had found out sooner.’ He thought over and over again. Maybe he could have spared Bokuto some of the emotional pain or the stress of having to go through another appointment altogether. Had they spotted things earlier, maybe there wouldn’t have been any need for follow-up treatment.

And then there was that story about the asshole that had hurt, no, _abused_ Bokuto when he was still a child. Akaashi would bet his entire student loan that the old filling in Bokuto’s molar was the exact same as the one he had gotten in his story. If it had hurt him anywhere near as bad as it looked…

His hand clenched around the whisk, the knuckles turning white as he took his anger out on the eggs.

“What are you doing?”

Akaashi spun around so fast he almost whacked the remaining eggs off the counter. Kenma was standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Ah, good morning Kenma.” Akaashi greeted him absent-mindedly as he turned back toward the bowl. The thoughts in his head continued their sheer endless game of ping pong.

Kenma walked over to stand next to him against the counter. Leaning over, the shorter setter peeked into the bowl of whisked-up egg with a sceptical frown.

“Is Kou still asleep?”

“Yes, I didn’t want to wake him. He’s still pretty exhausted after everything that happened yesterday. So I thought I would go ahead with the brunch myself.” Akaashi said, motioning to the already sizzling bacon and the loaf of toast he had laid out.

Kenma made no move to acknowledge the mention of Bokuto’s distress on the previous day. Didn’t even raise an eyebrow. In fact, Akaashi thought, he didn’t look the least bit surprised at the information. So, either Kuroo had already told him or…the knot of guilt tightened ever so slightly inside his chest. 

Ever-observant Kenma might have figured things out and known about Bokuto’s fear long before he had. If Akaashi was completely honest with himself, he wasn’t all too surprised. But it still stung.

“You do remember what happened the last time you did that?” Kenma was still eyeing the bowl.

“Well yes, but that was almost a year ago.” Akaashi remarked.

“Keiji, no offence but you almost burned down the entire apartment.” Kenma said dryly.

“I do believe I have gotten better.” Akaashi insisted.

“I can see at least three pieces of eggshell in there.”

“Would you like to help?” Akaashi asked, the building irritation clearly audible behind his words. 

Kenma and him always got along well. Mostly because of their quiet nature and because their silences were usually of the comfortable, not the awkward kind. But something seemed to have rubbed the shorter setter the wrong way this morning.

Instead of answering, Kenma busied himself by grabbing a mug from one of the cupboards. Akaashi let out a quiet sigh. He had a feeling he knew exactly what this was about and decided to tread carefully.

“I heard about your appointment.” Akaashi said as casually as he could muster.

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m sorry about the surgery.” Akaashi said with an apologetic frown in Kenma’s direction.

“It’s okay.” 

To the untrained eye, it would have looked as if Kenma was simply not interested in the conversation. But Akaashi could tell something was nagging at him by the little furrow of his brows peeking out from underneath the dual-coloured fringe.

“When are you going to get it done?”

“Don’t know.” Kenma shrugged. “Kuro’s gonna ring up the surgeon on Monday and find out. Probably sometime over the next couple weeks though.”

“Ah…” Akaashi knew they were slowly approaching the topic of significance. “And from what I understand, the two of you had an argument?” He pressed tentatively as he poured the eggs into the heated pan with an accompanying sizzle.

“It was dumb.” Kenma stared into his cup as if expecting the right words to magically appear on the foamy surface of the beverage.

“I’m sure both of you had your reasons…” Akaashi remarked, stirring the eggs around gently. 

He knew that pushing and prying for answers usually resulted in Kenma closing off completely. So instead he stayed quiet, only the sizzle and bubbling of bacon and egg audible in the kitchen.

“It’s just that…” Kenma eventually said with an exasperated sigh, “Kuroo told me I needed surgery like I won a fucking prize or something! Like it was the most exciting thing in the world. And then he thought it would be such a great idea to tell me everything they’re gonna do to me. He was all like ‘yeah, they’ll just cut four giant holes into your jaw and rip out your teeth’. Who fucking does that?! I mean, I get it. Maybe it’s interesting and all to _him_ but for me it’s still fucking _surgery_.”

‘There it is.’ Akaashi thought as he turned to face Kenma during his little outbreak, spatula still in hand. 

“I just sat there and didn’t know what to say so he thought that was his cue to keep going. I don’t care if I have to go in every now and then for an appointment. It’s fine and Kuroo is really good at what he does, so I don’t mind it. Not the way Kou does anyway. But surgery is a big deal. And I just needed him to be my boyfriend in that moment, not my stupid _dentist_.” Kenma buried his head in his hands.

“That makes sense.” Was all Akaashi could think to say because…well, it did.

“I don’t know. I shouldn’t have been as pissed as I was. It’s not fair to him. I think it came across like I blamed him for the surgery somehow, which is just fucking _stupid_ , but I couldn’t explain all that to him in the moment because I was nervous and he was being a dickhead and -”

“It’s not stupid.”

Kenma’s head shot up.

Kuroo was standing in the doorway, bedhead as prominent as ever and hands shoved inside his pockets. He looked over at Kenma with a solemn and guilty expression.

“I had no idea you felt that way, Kenma. I’m really sorry. I got carried away and didn’t stop to think how hearing all of this would affect you. I messed up.”

“It’s okay Kuro.” Kenma mumbled, eyes still wide. “Sorry I overreacted, I guess.” 

Kuroo closed the distance between them and took one of his boyfriend’s hands. “You know I’ll take really good care of you, right? I’ll buy you all the ice cream you could ever want. I’ll let you drool on my favourite hoodie. I’ll check on your stitches to make sure they heal really nicely and bring you painkillers. I’ll even let you choose a film on Netflix and-”

“Yeah I doubt that.” Kenma retorted.

“Okay, well maybe not _that_. But you know, literally anything else you want! I’ll make sure you’re as comfortable as possible through all of this, I promise kitten.” Kuroo said with a wink, pushing a lock of blond-black hair behind Kenma’s ear. 

“I want Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough.” Kenma fixed his boyfriend with a pout.

“As many pints as we can fit in the freezer.” Kuroo said, equally as serious, but even from a distance, Akaashi could make out the wit in the elder’s eyes.

Content with his bargain, Kenma fully leaned into the soothing touch, closing his eyes. A small smile played over his lips. He’d never liked the nights when he didn’t sleep next to Kuroo, fight or no fight. They always left him more exhausted and irritable than he already was. This was good though. Had he been a cat, he probably would’ve purred at the way Kuroo was now carding his long fingers through his hair.

The sensation didn’t last long though, because only a moment later, Kenma cracked one of his eyes back open, nose wrinkled in distaste.

“Keiji. The food.”

“Ah fuck!”

***

“I don’t know. All I’m saying is, if they really wanted us to like the heroes over the villains, then why make them so stupidly bland and predictable?”

They were all sprawled out on the large couch, watching the first Thor film for what had to be the millionth time since moving in together. None of them were paying particular attention to the film itself, the crashes and dialogue providing more background noise than anything. 

Akaashi sat cross-legged on the further end of the couch, Bokuto’s head in his lap and treading through the thick strands mindlessly. Kenma was snuggled up against Kuroo’s chest like a koala, dressed in one of the elder’s old volleyball hoodies – it was more of a tent on him really – and infinitely more interested in his PSP than anything happening on the big screen. Kuroo had his long legs stretched out in front of him, one arm casually snaked around the smaller setter’s waist.

Akaashi let out a low sigh and reluctantly met Kuroo’s gaze. “Why do you say that?” he questioned. 

Akaashi wasn’t particularly keen on having a pissing contest with Kuroo. He usually considered that Bokuto’s forte. But felt the need to comment nonetheless, since neither of the other two seemed willing to rise to the middle blocker’s obvious challenge.

No one was surprised that Kenma kept quiet, given that this was his default strategy when faced with any sort of social interaction. Bokuto, however, was a whole different story. 

They had managed to salvage the brunch after all, even with Akaashi charring half their eggs and most of the bacon just an hour earlier. Kuroo, who was an average yet solid home chef, had taken pity on him and served the remaining eggs sunny side up, along with some PB&J sandwiches.

Bokuto had padded into the kitchen just as they started setting the table. Without even bothering to inquire about the smell, he had quietly taken the stack of plates from Kenma’s hands to carry them though, averting everyone’s eyes as he did so. When they started eating, he had kept his gaze on his plate, chewing much more slowly and longer than usual. Kuroo and Akaashi had exchanged a couple of worried glances but decided it would be better to leave him alone until he was ready to talk. 

It had left the table in a much quieter state than usual. Kuroo, in an effort to revive the mood, had taken on a bit of a one-man show, lamenting about the rainy weather and boasting about the meal he had saved with his ‘extraordinary’ (his words) culinary skills. Because what else were you supposed to do with their powerhouse out of commission and two introverts who preferred the sound of silence over anything?

Bokuto knew that Akaashi had told Kuroo about how he had acted at the clinic and assumed that Kenma had put two and two together after they all returned home yesterday. In all honesty, even after his heart-to-heart with Akaashi, he still felt embarrassed about the whole ordeal and that he had let things get so bad that he now needed to come back to the clinic for a follow-up appointment. 

Sure, Akaashi had been nothing but sweet and reassuring. At the same time, the irrational and fearful parts of his brain were still having trouble shaking off all the nerves and the anticipation that kept sloshing uncomfortably in his gut. It took all of Bokuto’s mental strength to push those thoughts aside, to not let them engulf him like they had before. 

He had reminded himself over and over that he trusted Akaashi’s words, that nothing bad was going to happen to him. Still, he couldn’t help all those past memories and horror scenarios racing around in his head like cars on a track. Even his busy shift at the restaurant hadn’t been successful at fully distracting him from them.

When someone had suggested putting a film on after they finished their food, he had hummed his approval without really listening, and had settled on the couch along with the others. 

“I mean, just look at our boy Hemsworth over here!” Kuroo continued his tirade, pointing a finger accusingly at the screen. “He’s the epitome of bland. All muscle and face and that _hair_. I mean sure, he’s good-looking and all, but my god is he the most disgustingly righteous person that’s ever fake-lived. Of course he’s gonna come to the girl’s rescue and save the entire human species at the same time. I can’t think of anything more _boring_!”

“I suppose I understand what you mean.” Akaashi said completely indifferently, as there was still no backup in sight. “But isn’t the point of these films to have a positive message and provide responsible role models for people?”

“Ahhh well but where’s the fun in that! You need more depth and flavour for a good, relatable character. Just look at Loki! He is dark and grungy and mysterious and, needless to say, really fucking hot. Yes, he has his flaws but at least he’s truly himself and not shooting for son-in-law of the fucking century.” Kuroo smirked, clearly pleased with the argument he had presented.

Akaashi sighed in exasperation and gently flicked Bokuto’s ear.

“Kou. Help me out here.”

Bokuto, who had been staring at the screen absentmindedly, was momentarily pulled out of this trance.

“Wha-” he said, blinking.

“Tetsurou thinks that Loki is better than Thor.” Akaashi said, his expression a genuine representation of his boredom.

“I just said he had more depth.” Kuroo clarified, a mischievous glint in his cat-like eyes.

“Nah, Thor is a much better person and he’s really strong and don’t forget about the hammer.” Bokuto said matter-of-factly, pushing himself upright until he sat shoulder-to-shoulder with Akaashi.

“You can’t be fucking serious man.” Kuroo sighed, dramatically slapping a hand over his eyes. 

“Oh yeah?” Bokuto visibly perked up, an undeniable sparkle in his eyes that had been impossible to detect there all day. “Alright then, name _one_ villain that’s cooler than the hero. Go!”

“Ugh, where do I even start. The Joker, Voldemort, Darth Vader, Magneto, literally every Disney villain under the sun – do you really need me to keep going?!”

“Bro! You have got to be kidding!” Bokuto had jumped up, now perched on top of the couch in a squat, the spark from before having ignited into flames. Akaashi stifled a snort. 

“They got nothing against the heroes! Also, how the hell can you choose Magneto over Professor X?! The guy is a literal genius who can control and talk to people from around the world with just _his mind_!” Bokuto pointed to his own forehead for emphasis.

“No he can’t, you dumbass. He has to use _a machine_ to do that. Big difference!”

“That’s still better than a guy who bends spoons for a living if you ask me.”

Akaashi couldn’t help the smile forming on his lips. And even Kenma, whose eyes were still glued to his console, had a look that almost resembled relaxed contentment on his face. There was the piece that had been missing all morning. As much as both liked to complain about their boyfriends being loud and obnoxious, the two introverts knew that life simply wasn’t the same without the constant banter and bickering.

The two hotheads continued their verbal abuse for another couple minutes before Kuroo finally seized Kenma around the waist, earning him a squeak from the pudding-head.

“Kenma, help me out here!” He whined, “Bo is being ridiculous, and you can settle this once and for all. Heroes or villains?”

The three others stilled and looked over at their shortest friend expectantly. Kenma cleared his throat nervously, obviously uncomfortable at the prospect of having all the attention on himself, and looked up from his screen.

“There’s no shadow without light and vice versa. Doesn’t matter if you prefer heroes or villains. One doesn’t work without the other.”

Silence. The others just looked at him with dumbfounded expressions.

Kuroo cleared his throat after a second of recovery, still utterly perplexed. “Well…that was…oddly poetic…and extremely intelligent at the same time.”

Another moment of silence before the two elders finally broke out into a full-on fit of laughter, realising the ridiculousness of their argument. It took several minutes for their wheezing to quiet down again, in which Akaashi contemplated leaving the room in favour of a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. 

Finally, Kuroo leaned back with a sigh and wiped a single tear from his eye, letting his head fall against the back of the couch.

“Well, it’s good to have you back to normal, Bo.” He said. “I was getting worried about you for a second.”

Bokuto settled back against Akaashi’s side, a final chuckle shaking his shoulders lightly.

“Yeah, you’re right. That was exactly what I needed. Thanks bro.”

Kuroo fixed him with his gaze from across the couch, weaving an arm back around Kenma’s waist.

“You know,” he started after another minute, slowly but confidently, “you have nothing to be scared or embarrassed about with all this.” He gestured vaguely with his free hand. “We’re all here for you.”

Bokuto lifted his gaze to meet that of his best friend, suddenly flustered. Damn. When had Kuroo become such an annoyingly good mind reader? 

He gave him a small smile in return. “I appreciate it. Really, I do. I’m still really nervous but I trust you both, so…” He trailed off, not sure how to continue. Akaashi reached over, grasping one of Bokuto’s hands in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“While we’re on the topic,” Kuroo continued, “is there anything specific you want us to do? Or anything you want us _not_ to do? It really helps to know these things in advance so we can make this as easy for you as possible.”

“Ah…I-I don’t…know really…um” Bokuto looked over to Akaashi for help.

“What he means is,” Akaashi supplied, “what scares you most about going to the dentist? Maybe there’s a way to work around certain things.”

Bokuto winced slightly at the word and began to fiddle nervously with their intertwined hands. _How about fucking everything_ , he wanted to say. The whole thing had built and built and built into such an overwhelming mess over all those years. A snake biting its own tail. Where the hell should he even begin?! 

He had always taken such great care of avoiding the subject altogether and, until yesterday, he never thought that there could be another way of doing things that was any different from his childhood memories. He had never taken the time to pick his fear apart and peel back the different layers. 

It took him a moment of thinking and of tracing the lines on Akaashi’s knuckles with his fingers. He had already talked about most things with Akaashi, and Kenma had seemed pretty unbothered about the topic this whole time. But seeing Kuroo in what could only be described as _professional mode_ was still a bit unnerving. Definitely something to get used to.

“Um…It’s the whole thing of not being in control, I think. Like, I hate just lying there without knowing what’s going on and when something’s about to happen. I just feel trapped and exposed and then I start panicking. Also the sounds and the smell. And needles. And pain. Basically everything…” He finished in a small, very un-Bokuto-like voice. 

“Okay. We can definitely work with that.” Kuroo said and Bokuto, for the life of him, couldn’t sense a single ounce of doubt in his voice. He looked up at his friend incredulously.

“H-how…?”

“Well, there are different ways. First of all, and I’m sure Keiji has already mentioned this, but nothing we do will actually physically hurt you. Sure, it might not be the most comfortable experience ever, but dentistry has come a long way and there are many ways of making sure everything’s nice and pain-free. As for the control thing” Kuroo scratched his chin absentmindedly, “we’ll go completely at your own pace. If you need a break or you want us to explain what we’re doing, we can do that. I usually have people raise their hand if they need a break while I’m working. I’m sure we can come up with something similar for you. You know, kinda like a safe word.” Kuroo smirked, his eyebrow raised so high it disappeared under his messy fringe.

“That’s…so inappropriate.” Akaashi said dryly, but Bokuto couldn’t help the small smile that ghosted over his lips as his best friend continued.

“Mmh. We might have to get a little more creative to get rid of the smell. If it bothers you that much, we can try essential oils to rub under your nose. You like lavender?”

“Sure.” Bokuto answered with a shrug.

“Alright! Um…that only leaves sound and needles. Sound is easy. You can put on headphones when we don’t need you to be responsive. Just go ahead and make a good playlist. Something with a lot of bass. Now, we can’t not use anaesthetics when we’re doing your fillings unfortunately. There’s a reason we have them and trust me when I say you don’t want to go without. That being said, we always put on a numbing gel before, so you won’t even feel the pinch at all. Easy peasy!”

Bokuto thought that everything up until the needle bit sounded pretty logical. Maybe it was the look in his eyes that betrayed him, giving away his scepticism, because Kuroo suddenly leaned closer, his brows furrowed with concern.

“Hey, you okay? I know this is a lot to take in but-”

“Will it work?...Th-the numbing stuff, I mean.” Bokuto mumbled, eyes back on the hands in his lap.

Akaashi rubbed his thumb soothingly over his knuckles. “There is absolutely no reason why it shouldn’t.” He said sincerely. “From what you told me, I think the guy you used to see didn’t use nearly enough and had very poor technique. But like Tetsurou said, we have come a long way. I’ve been on the receiving end of his injections before and I can assure you, none of them have ever hurt.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Aww thanks Kaashi.” Kuroo said with a slight blush of his cheeks.

Bokuto was mulling everything over in his head once more. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but he realised that nobody would be able to fully convince him until he took the plunge and found out for himself. He would give his lover and best friend the benefit of the doubt. They had never given him any reason to doubt his trust in them in the past. Surely, they wouldn’t lie just to keep up appearances, he thought. At least once this was all done, he could go back to living a normal life without all the anxiety and paranoia. The seemingly endless game of misery, of hide and seek, would finally conclude next Friday. 

If only he could wind the clocks forward to the time after his appointment, when he would be relieved of his nerves and celebrating with Akaashi and his friends... 

“We should go play volleyball tomorrow. Take your mind off things for a bit. Two against two, what do you say?” Kuroo proposed, once again trying to lighten the mood after that obvious buzz kill.

“Sure.” Akaashi replied, looking expectantly over at Bokuto, who was still silent.

Kuroo stretched his arms over his head, the usual smug expression returning to his face. “That is, unless of course…little Bo is scared he’s gonna lose?” He said with a wink.

That seemed to do the trick, as Bokuto’s head snapped up, that spark from earlier once again ignited behind his irises.

“Oh you’re so on, cat face! Just you wait, me and Akaashi are gonna crush you!” Bokuto snarled.

“You just keep telling yourself that, skunk head!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooohhhh can you tell we're slowly approaching the fun stuff ? Next chapter will give you fireworks and anxiety par excellence, I can confidently say at least that much! Take care and see ya then!


End file.
